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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Little Johnny in Class

Little Johnny Does Different Maths 
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three... " 
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. 
The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class. The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. 
Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two." 
****

Peeping Johnny 
A new teacher was giving an assignment to her class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days." 
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student.
She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters." 
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks." 
Embarrassed, she drops the eraser when she turns around, so she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an all out belly laugh from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over." 

Posted via email from partha's posterous

Pet Peeves: What Dogs hate about humans

'1' Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at all !!! 
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'2' Yelling at me for barking.  I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG 
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'3' Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? 
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'4' Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it! 
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'5 ' The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain. 
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' 6 ' Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back! 
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' 7’ Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet . 
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' 8 ' Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur? 
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' 9 ' How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous. 
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Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you? 

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY. 

Posted via email from partha's posterous

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